Tagged by @RushmoreJ Visit his site for the survey. 99% to true!

 

1) What do you consider your first sexual experience to be? I touched myself when I was 4 or 5. My hand has been glued to my vag ever since. FAP FAP FAP PEDOBURRS

2) What is the sexiest thing you’ve ever worn in public? If I’m wearing it, it’s not sexy.

3) What is the sexiest surprise you have ever given someone? ..My boobs? …….

4) What is your favorite scene from a porn video or story? “BUT I POOP FROM THERE” “NOW YOU DON’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

5) Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? My dog.

6) Had sex in a public place? No one wants to fuck me, no.

7) Have you ever had anal sex? I will take it in whatever hole I can get it in, except the phole.

8) Have you ever had a rim job? Given one? No… I would only do that to a girl. Who wants to fight a butt bush then find something crunchy?

9) Are you in a relationship now? No. No one luv me. :c

10) What is your partner’s sexual fantasy? I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING PARTNER.

11) Do you prefer to orgasm before or after your partner? I prefer to orgasm all day e’ryday. 

12) How often do you masturbate? 4xs a day average. 0 if company, 6 if I’m horny. Will pay fer someone to do it for me, yeah?

13) Have you ever had cyber or phone sex? … Not really. We could make that happen though.

14) When you masturbate do you think of a specific person, celebrity or friend? SHAKIRA, SHAKIRA.

15) What is on your sexual Bucket list? Fall in love, get married, have sex.

 

Just kidding, double penetration anal.

 

He has brought boobies to Xanga. He has led us through the great Malaysian troll war of 2011. Our great leader is also way taller than North Korea's leader. He's brought peace and love amongst the lesbians. This Sunday, we pay homage to our great leader, TheTheologiansCafe.   Here is our great leader immortalized throughout history. By Van Gogh. Gustav Klimt   Johannes Vermeer   Da Vinci   Sir Frederic Leighton   Here is his army of horny lesbians that golden showers our enemies He even personally washed their boobies to prevent relationship chaos. His selfless contribution to hygiene management will be forever remembered.                                Our ever benevolent leader also gave us some super hot male generals after much begging.   Happy Veteran's Day. God Bless America and God Bless Xanga.

3 requests filled, more to go!

@snoog420 , @Ellelarien , @SKANLYN , @TheTheologiansCafe

OH MAN, SATURDAY CAME SO FAST. HOW DO YOU GUYS BLOG EVERY DAY? AHhhhhhhh! 99% to true

To me, blackheads are sexy. MMMMM. 10/10 fapped to this.

 

The Sexy Saturday (creator: @slackersociety) edition of 3 Xanga ladies I'd go lesbo for

1. @Snoog420

...HAIR TIED, CHILLIN' WITH NO MAKE-UP ON. That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong.

 

2. @megabyyte - Check out her hot girls of Xanga post!

 

 

 

 

 

@erika_steele I love her. She is smart, nice, and has an amazing bum. If you piss her off she will steal your soul.

 

 

My peace offering to Xanga. My tongue.

 

 

Xanga news I'm excited about: @whiskeystilettos is coming out with a new nail polish line. @ctaretz is making more videos again! yay! @crazy2love has a pretty shimmery candle. Oooh shiny @_@

 

 

 

 

(I wrote about religion without celibacy, does this count? If not, at least I didn't blog about dog tits. YOU'RE WELCOME) 3 requests filled! Will finish the rest. I am 98% to True.

@Ricardo98 @musterion99 @PPhilip

 

I am a Christian. I have been called not a “real” Christian because I won’t subscribe to any groupthink. I’m interested in God/truth/doing what is right, etc – I’m not really interested in conforming to perceptions people have on Christian behavior.

I have grown a lot in the last few years. I’ve had particularly a lot of trouble loving people in my personal life. Admittedly my emotions consisted of; anger, anger, hatred, revenge, anger, anger, anger. I have keyed cars, thrown coffee in them, destroyed property, & more. This was out of revenge and I felt justified at the time doing it. I had to really examine myself and study scripture to know that in no way was this what God wanted or thought was morally right. I wasn’t defending myself, I was hurting people. Just because somebody hurts me doesn’t give me the right to hurt them back.

In 2010 I ended up falling head over heels in love. I was the same crazy biotch, hell bent on revenge when someone fucked me over. Except for this time, every time I did something, it hurt the person I loved the most. I had never felt more pain in my life than when I hurt someone I loved. This time I felt the effects of revenge, of anger, and not loving someone the way God commanded us to. There is no action I did that didn’t come back and hurt me tenfold.

In November 2011 my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. I hated him for a long time and never forgave him for anything. Seeing him in the hospital sad, weak, in pain, and helpless changed that. He was formerly some menacing, scary thing to me. Now I pity him. He became human, just like me. He wasn’t an object for my hate, but a human being that was to be loved as God told us to.

I’ve learned that despite what other people do they are human beings like we are. “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

They aren’t worse than we are. “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” James 2:10 An us vs. them mindset can be destructive and only sets ourselves up for hate. Hate isn’t productive, it begets more hate. We are all human beings/children of God and are not distinguished by bad vs. good. None of us are good, God loves us anyway. "...No one is good except God alone." Mark 10:18

So this year I’ve encountered quite a few challenges that have made me want to get revenge and correct wrongs that I had endured by people I knew. But thanks to Christ I have learned that loving people (other than loving God) is the MOST important thing to do, and if I cannot love people then my claims to love God make me a liar. “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:20 Being hateful does nothing except inspire more hate. There is nothing to accomplish from it.

I will end on some of my favorite, relevant scriptures.

 

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:21-23

 

The Greatest Commandment

³⁴ Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵ One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:34-40

 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

 

So there is a peek into my religious life. What has God done for you?

And here atheists, have a shot for having to look at this.

 

3 Things I learned on Election Day

 

 Election day was an eventful day for me. I learned a lot of things on election day.

 

1) That Mitt and I were never meant to be

 

2) Why I'm single.

thank you, dear cousin.

 

3) THAT QUANTUMSTORM HAS A FACE!??!?!

WHAT IS THIS MAGICKZ!?!?!

 

 

Congratz my liberal ladies, I made a pinterest board for you. I may be a Republican but I am a gracious loser. These next 4 years I will be adding new pins to my pinterest board, "I want to fuck Obama."

 

Conservative girls, no worries. We still have Paulie 2016! <3

 

 

 

No-Shave November Contest

I am hosting a beard contest, as suggested by @amateurprose.

Beard King: Grow out yo face hair this month (preferably take a BEFORE shot!) and then take a picture at the end of the month.

Hairy Princess: Grow out your armpit, leg, or mustache and take a picture.

Prize: At the end of the month you will get glorious posts on Xanga about you and be acknowledged as great hairy royalty. The true prize is the dominion you will have over your less hairy subjects. We will praise you!

IN SUPPORT OF YOU ALL I WILL BE GROWING OUT MY ARMPIT HAIR!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Requests filled! More to go! I will get to all of them. Thank you for helping me get my True Badge.

 

@Marica0701 @Manic_Butterflies @QuantumStorm @Amateurprose

 

Sexy Saturday

 Note: I will be doing a lot of user tagging from requests. Don't feel obligated to comment or rec. I'm not trying to annoy the fuck out of you, I'm just making sure you know when you're mentioned.

 

For sexy Saturday I'll be featuring hot Xangans I want to go lesbo for and tits.

So last night I drank scotch and drunk dialed @Lithium98 all in an attempt to become an honorary Mexican. I also tweeted tit pictures by request. Here's my twitter if you want to follow me. It was fun but I think all this Vicodin, Xanax, and scotch is going to kill my liver. Oh well, I'll medicate myself with pie.

 

 

 

Damn, I love Xanga bitches. They are always the perfect mix of smart, hot, and lesbionic. Every sexy Saturday I am going to feature 3 Xanga chicks I want to have lesbo fun with.

 

1. Jmelove-x

Bad ass, talented, fun, and sweet. She is the type of girl that will whip you for being insolent but will give you cookies after you eat her out. She hoops and it is fucking awesome. Check out her site and videos of her hooping.

yes, ma'am.

This is our wedding picture. @jmelove-x

 

2. Bianca

Unfortunately for us lesbos, she is straight. That doesn't stop my girl crush though!!  I love Bianca. She is beau-ty-ful and as sweet as they come. If you aren't friends with her, you are missing out.

 

@lovelybish

 

 3. TrunthePaige

She's Xanga's token conservative. Yeah I know she's married, I know she's straight, but that doesn't mean I can't fantasize about us starting a new life in Bermuda with her cute baby. Liberals may argue with Paige's worldview but they can't argue she is one hot MILF.

@trunthepaige

 

3 Requests fulfilled! The rest to come.

@thetheologianscafe @slackersociety @jmelove_x

 

 

 

Also in Xanga News @Myxldove is making Xanga Cards. Head on over to his site to get yours. They are supes cool! Here is mine:

I've been on this account for 3 years. I'm not really a big blogger, but I do like reading others blogs/commenting. Since I don't tend to write a lot of blog posts, my post count is not high enough for a True badge. I am having deep feelings of inadequacy after @Lithium98 pointed out I did not have a true badge.

I'm not really sure what I should blog about but I need to up my count.

Here, you can choose.

 

Lesbians

 

Boobies

 

Relationship Advice

 

Makeup/Skincare/Hygiene

 

Politics

 

Religion

 

Photography with my new camera

 

 

Other:

I will fulfill any and all requests ;D

 

NOW GO.

 

 

Awhile ago on my birthday @LKJSlain sent me a birthday present. She sent me a gorgeous pair of earrings and a hair comb from her shop. They were so lovely and well made that I had to order more, so I ordered a set of earrings and a necklace. The necklace was absolutely *stunning*. Unfortunately I don't have pictures of my necklace/earrings I purchased, (I will have them up later. I am so lazy! ) but I wanted to post the gorgeous earrings/hair comb she sent me for my birthday.

 Her jewelry is very elegant and is easy to fit in to your own style. I am really bad with hair but I managed to make the comb fit in beautifully with a simple braid. There are endless possibilities with hair combs, IMO. Also her products are VERY inexpensive. Please check out her shop!

Lisa's Shop!

Guess how much the hair comb is in her shop? 5 dollars. Those gorgeous ear bud earrings? 7 dollars! If you like these products and have any sort of income you are CRAZY not to purchase these items at such a deal!!

 

She sent me the white hair comb and beautiful flower earrings.

Isn't that hair comb feminine and lovely?

 

Here you can see how you can integrate the hair piece in an updo.

 

Ok, @amateurprose asked for a blog so here I go.

So I was at the post office and I saw this cute guy staring at me. My thong fell out of my pants leg. I thought maybe he would think I was easy and at least ask me out, BUT NO. Anyway so I was going to flirt with this other cute guy but I have this horrible habit of eating my lip skin. No, not chewing on my lips, EATING THEM. Anyway it looked like I had the herps so I didn't bother.

bitch, wipe your bloody nose off and stop eating your goddamn lips

Instead I'm just happily masturbating to Lloyd videos.

 

Also I got my first dSLR. It's the Canon EOS Rebel T2i 550d. To say I am excited is an understatement.

Anyway I am gradually working my way up to dating. Or maybe I'll just go on a raping spree. I know rape jokes aren't funny but I just don't feel like a true Republican unless I offend rape victims and demonize women. 

And admittedly, I do not like Paul Ryan. His politics anyway... but I cannot keep my panties dry for this man. I don't know why, but he touches me in special, special places. I thought Mitt could have chosen a better pick for VP... but oh my... he makes my vagina so happy. Paul, you are one Republican I DO want in my reproductive organs. GET IN THERE!!!!!!

 

 

He kind of reminds me of my brother. My ex kind of reminds me of my brother too. I want nieces and nephews so maybe I should get incestual and just make it happen. Meet my new lovechild:

 

I have been pondering lately about what I want in a partner. Black? White? Tall? Short? I had it narrowed down to "breathing" but then decided I'd even take a limp hot dog or a moldy taco.

I can fit 20.

Hi, sorry everyone, I've been really busy so I haven't been able to properly indulge in my internet addiction. You know what month this is though, right?

 

It's a month when our great leader Dan(@thetheologianscafe) and his army of titty owning, cancer fighting ninjas come kick ass and raise money for Breast Cancer awareness!

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION, DAN'S POST

 

I am participating this year and you should too! Excited to see me? I'M EXCITED TO SEE YOU, SO LET'S GET NAKED AND DO THIS!!