Month: November 2012

  • Women are fucking stupid

    I have read 1,000 articles about the demise of the traditional man. In its place a new breed is arising, the “man-child” obsessed with video games, porn, non commitment, and few responsibilities.

    Okay, now apparently on the other team we have women lamenting ze fact ze menz aren’t getting with the program.


    And this is where womenz get real fucking stupid.


    When you marry/live with someone you become their slave. Cooking, cleaning, sucking whatever they want you to suck. (TOES, PENISES, CLITORII)

    Women, WOMEN STAHP. This marriage/commitment/live-in/breeding machine bullshit is a part of the secret plan of enslaving us and turning us into fucking workhorses. Studies show we do all the fucking child rearing, cleaning, AND work (for less money). The men have it right on this one. We should be playing video games and masturbating all day.














    Break your engagements, your straightness, your bad “sleeping with men” habit and come join us!


    All men who recruit women to the cause get to watch… also free pancakes every Friday.




  • Txts between TheTheolgiansCafe and me

    Midwest Meetup  @thetheologianscafe


    *me driving on the way to the restaurant*

    Dan: I am super early

    Nat: You’re there already?

    Dan: I am in town
    I am sitting at mcdonalds just off 55

    Nat: Is this dan

    Dan: Yes
    Is this Nataly

    Nat: Oh, haha you have a very distinctive style. I thiiiink I might be 10 min early. Get our midgets!!!!!

    Dan: What is distinctive about my style?

    Nat: You never use contractions.
    And it’s terse. :p

    Dan: Haha
    I have been told that before
    I will attempt to be less concise and more verbal.

    Nat: Is mcdonalds fun? Recruit one of the workers to go drinking

    Dan: Hmm
    I wonder which one

    Nat: The loosest one

    Dan: Haha. She will be more fun for all of us
    Maybe someone will show up at the xanga meet

    Nat: I’m bringing an asian with me. Since it’ll be around half asian this is going to be an authentic meetup.

    Dan: Is the asian a guy or a girl

    Nat: Guy. Sorry. When he grows his hair long enough he looks like a girl. I should have brought his sister ohmigod she’s hot

    Dan: Bring his sister
    Is he a midget or full size?

    Nat: Full size but midget to you and me. Feel free to toss him, he’s not squirmy.

    Dan: Awesome. I especially love asian midget look-alikes

    Nat: Midget strippers!!!

    Dan: Will your friend give us an asian lookalike midget strip show?

    Nat: Oh dear god. We’ll go blind and never be able to xanga. But yes!!

    Dan: It will be worth it

    Nat: Are you making a fort out of mcchickens

    Dan: I am gone now
    I am heading to the location

    Nat: Are you texting and driving? That’s illegal in my state. Invite the cop to the meet.

    Dan: I like to live dangerously.
    Cop strippers!!!!!

    Nat: YEEESSSSS. N free handcuffs!!!

    Dan: We will rate the xangans via text like this during the xanga meet and talk about which ones we want to include in the orgy. Then we will post this on xanga.

    Nat: Hahahaha. I dunno if this will work for me. I am so desperate right now ill give a ten to those with 3+ percent of their teeth.

    Dan: We can’t always be picky
    I have found they look even better after a few drinks

    Nat: Sooo true. We can just take secret ass shots and let xangas comment democracy pic.

    Dan: Good thinking
    Low standards will come in handy if we are stuck with an asian lookalike midget

    Nat: And alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

    Dan: The greeter is eyeing me. I hope you like older women.

    Nat: Most definitely. Pref tits above belly button age but beggars can’t be choosy

    Dan: Maybe you should start drinking now before you see her

    Nat: Both binh and Brenda are going to be late

    Dan: I am pretty sure with the help of someone else they can be pushed above the bellybutton

    Nat: I’ll take it!

    Dan: Ok
    I am pretty sure I know which waitress we will want


    *We’re in the restaurant, flapper_femme_fatale comes in*

    Nat: We have the same type, I will guess!
    Whoa tits! Yes to her definitely

    Dan: The first to touch them wins

    Nat: I’m glad I wore sunglasses the staring won’t be as obvious
    I’d do the waitress

    Dan: Does a brush touch count or does it have to be a two hand grab?

    Nat: A lick wins it

    Dan: Maybe we can get the waitress to come with
    Can you sense the sexual tension between the two Asians?

    Nat: And the lady who showed us to our seats

    Dan: Stop pretending you are listening to what she is saying

    Nat: Haha I am I am!

    Dan: If we get them and take the pie with it, we both win
    She has pretty eyes
    But you are not looking at them

    Nat: Dan I am just as pure as you are. I don’t know what you are talking about.

    Dan: If you are pure like me then you know what I am talking about.
    Are you sure your back is up to this

    Nat: I hope she is a top. My back is killing me

    Dan: I am sure she is flexible

    *On the way to get boozes then hang out*

    Dan: Ok if there is no alcohol at this exit we will orgy sober

    Nat: You mean you guys will orgy sober. I got pills!!!

    Dan: Take off your jacket to get it started
    You are going to have to kiss someone

    Nat: Which one is herpes free and takes it in the butt

    Dan: You never know until the results come back
    Kiss her

  • My Dating rant

    Okay, so SlackerSociety does his dating rants… I need to do one too. =/ I’m lame, this is lame. I have been down in the dumps lately. I’ve tried dating, but guess what? Everyone around here is straight. When I do message gay girls they never message me back! I know I’m not a perfect 10, but I don’t think I’m super ugly either. sad

    Sometimes I think I will never find a girlfriend, or find love for that matter. I’m so proud of my brother. He is in his 20s, has a degree in physics and aeronautical/astronautical engineering, has a 6 figure income, and just fell in love with this beautiful Colombian woman. It makes me so fucking jealous. I hear my Dad and him talk down to women and say misogynistic things, and yet my brother can get a beautiful girl but I can’t? Don’t get me wrong, my brother is awesome, I don’t know. No, I do know. I am going to murder him then steal his girlfriend.

    I spent last weekend with my ex and his sister. Again, it makes me so fucking jealous that this beautiful woman (his sister) is stuck with such a shitty husband. *no offense* He tells her she is fat, etc. She is absolutely stunning. How the fuck do these ugly douchebags end up with these beautiful women but I can’t get a girlfriend? I don’t fucking get it. Plus this guy is really ugly too. (not that I’m shallow…)

    Sometimes I think I will never find true love, or a girlfriend. It seems like lesbians are looking for casual sex or they are in a relationship looking for a threesome! Is there anyone out there that cares about LOVE and ROMANCE?


    *sigh* I need to order Chinese food.


  • Midwest Meetup Nov24th in Dwight, IL (near Chicago)

    Midwest meetup will be in Dwight, IL which is only about 1 1/2 hours away from Chicago. It will be at Station 343. (A restaurant) You can use for directions.

    140 E Main St
    Dwight, IL 60420

    (815) 584-9343

    Nov. 24th 6pm

    Please comment/message me if you are coming.


    @kkaayyyy @rachelbachel32 @flapper_femme_fatale @saintvi @nihaokeisha @binh_bong @ctartez @Billy_Austin714 @Sheegwa @godfatherofgreenbay @pinklace8691 @Hisdownazzchick @xxremmusxx @magistertom

  • Any Illinois/Indiana Midwest Xangans out thurr


    If you are in Illinois or Indiana let me know. @TheTheologiansCafe is coming through and we’re going to set up a meetup the 24th. I need to know if there is any life in the Midwest. Please come. I am easy and so is Dan once we liquor him up.

    Tell me if you’re interested so we can best arrange a place.

  • Lol, Jessica from Lovelyish is famous (infamous?)

    Remember the old Lovelyish editor Jessica Misener? Apparently she won an award! lulz.

    Link to article: 



    I will always love you Jessica and remember our times together. Fuck the haters.

    The lovely post I wrote about her once upon a time.

  • NSFW Dare Survey

    Tagged by @RushmoreJ Visit his site for the survey. 99% to true!


    1) What do you consider your first sexual experience to be? I touched myself when I was 4 or 5. My hand has been glued to my vag ever since. FAP FAP FAP PEDOBURRS

    2) What is the sexiest thing you’ve ever worn in public? If I’m wearing it, it’s not sexy.

    3) What is the sexiest surprise you have ever given someone? ..My boobs? …….

    4) What is your favorite scene from a porn video or story? “BUT I POOP FROM THERE” “NOW YOU DON’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    5) Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? My dog.

    6) Had sex in a public place? No one wants to fuck me, no.

    7) Have you ever had anal sex? I will take it in whatever hole I can get it in, except the phole.

    8) Have you ever had a rim job? Given one? No… I would only do that to a girl. Who wants to fight a butt bush then find something crunchy?

    9) Are you in a relationship now? No. No one luv me. :c

    10) What is your partner’s sexual fantasy? I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING PARTNER.

    11) Do you prefer to orgasm before or after your partner? I prefer to orgasm all day e’ryday. 

    12) How often do you masturbate? 4xs a day average. 0 if company, 6 if I’m horny. Will pay fer someone to do it for me, yeah?

    13) Have you ever had cyber or phone sex? … Not really. We could make that happen though.

    14) When you masturbate do you think of a specific person, celebrity or friend? SHAKIRA, SHAKIRA.

    15) What is on your sexual Bucket list? Fall in love, get married, have sex.


    Just kidding, double penetration anal.

  • Xanga’s Great Leader


    He has brought boobies to Xanga. He has led us through the great Malaysian troll war of 2011. Our great leader is also way taller than North Korea’s leader. He’s brought peace and love amongst the lesbians. This Sunday, we pay homage to our great leader, TheTheologiansCafe.


    Here is our great leader immortalized throughout history.

    By Van Gogh.

    Gustav Klimt


    Johannes Vermeer


    Da Vinci


    Sir Frederic Leighton


    Here is his army of horny lesbians that golden showers our enemies

    He even personally washed their boobies to prevent relationship chaos. His selfless contribution to hygiene management will be forever remembered.
















    Our ever benevolent leader also gave us some super hot male generals after much begging.


    Happy Veteran’s Day. God Bless America and God Bless Xanga.



    3 requests filled, more to go!

    @snoog420 , @Ellelarien , @SKANLYN , @TheTheologiansCafe

  • Blackheads!! [Sexy Saturday]


    To me, blackheads are sexy. MMMMM. 10/10 fapped to this.


    The Sexy Saturday (creator: @slackersociety) edition of 3 Xanga ladies I’d go lesbo for

    1. @Snoog420

    …HAIR TIED, CHILLIN’ WITH NO MAKE-UP ON. That’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong.


    2. @megabyyte – Check out her hot girls of Xanga post!






    @erika_steele I love her. She is smart, nice, and has an amazing bum. If you piss her off she will steal your soul.



    My peace offering to Xanga. My tongue.



    Xanga news I’m excited about: @whiskeystilettos is coming out with a new nail polish line. @ctaretz is making more videos again! yay! @crazy2love has a pretty shimmery candle. Oooh shiny @_@





  • How God has helped me

    (I wrote about religion without celibacy, does this count? If not, at least I didn’t blog about dog tits. YOU’RE WELCOME) 3 requests filled! Will finish the rest. I am 98% to True.

    @Ricardo98 @musterion99 @PPhilip


    I am a Christian. I have been called not a “real” Christian because I won’t subscribe to any groupthink. I’m interested in God/truth/doing what is right, etc – I’m not really interested in conforming to perceptions people have on Christian behavior.

    I have grown a lot in the last few years. I’ve had particularly a lot of trouble loving people in my personal life. Admittedly my emotions consisted of; anger, anger, hatred, revenge, anger, anger, anger. I have keyed cars, thrown coffee in them, destroyed property, & more. This was out of revenge and I felt justified at the time doing it. I had to really examine myself and study scripture to know that in no way was this what God wanted or thought was morally right. I wasn’t defending myself, I was hurting people. Just because somebody hurts me doesn’t give me the right to hurt them back.

    In 2010 I ended up falling head over heels in love. I was the same crazy biotch, hell bent on revenge when someone fucked me over. Except for this time, every time I did something, it hurt the person I loved the most. I had never felt more pain in my life than when I hurt someone I loved. This time I felt the effects of revenge, of anger, and not loving someone the way God commanded us to. There is no action I did that didn’t come back and hurt me tenfold.

    In November 2011 my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. I hated him for a long time and never forgave him for anything. Seeing him in the hospital sad, weak, in pain, and helpless changed that. He was formerly some menacing, scary thing to me. Now I pity him. He became human, just like me. He wasn’t an object for my hate, but a human being that was to be loved as God told us to.

    I’ve learned that despite what other people do they are human beings like we are. “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

    They aren’t worse than we are. “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” James 2:10 An us vs. them mindset can be destructive and only sets ourselves up for hate. Hate isn’t productive, it begets more hate. We are all human beings/children of God and are not distinguished by bad vs. good. None of us are good, God loves us anyway. “…No one is good except God alone.” Mark 10:18

    So this year I’ve encountered quite a few challenges that have made me want to get revenge and correct wrongs that I had endured by people I knew. But thanks to Christ I have learned that loving people (other than loving God) is the MOST important thing to do, and if I cannot love people then my claims to love God make me a liar. “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:20 Being hateful does nothing except inspire more hate. There is nothing to accomplish from it.

    heartI will end on some of my favorite, relevant scriptures.


    The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

    21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

    22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

    Matthew 18:21-23


    The Greatest Commandment

    34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

    37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

    Matthew 22:34-40


    “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

    Jeremiah 29:11


    So there is a peek into my religious life. What has God done for you?

    And here atheists, have a shot for having to look at this. smooch