October 25, 2012
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I can't date
Ok, @amateurprose asked for a blog so here I go.
So I was at the post office and I saw this cute guy staring at me. My thong fell out of my pants leg. I thought maybe he would think I was easy and at least ask me out, BUT NO. Anyway so I was going to flirt with this other cute guy but I have this horrible habit of eating my lip skin. No, not chewing on my lips, EATING THEM. Anyway it looked like I had the herps so I didn't bother.
bitch, wipe your bloody nose off and stop eating your goddamn lips
Instead I'm just happily masturbating to Lloyd videos.
Also I got my first dSLR. It's the Canon EOS Rebel T2i 550d. To say I am excited is an understatement.
Anyway I am gradually working my way up to dating. Or maybe I'll just go on a raping spree. I know rape jokes aren't funny but I just don't feel like a true Republican unless I offend rape victims and demonize women.
And admittedly, I do not like Paul Ryan. His politics anyway... but I cannot keep my panties dry for this man. I don't know why, but he touches me in special, special places. I thought Mitt could have chosen a better pick for VP... but oh my... he makes my vagina so happy. Paul, you are one Republican I DO want in my reproductive organs. GET IN THERE!!!!!!
He kind of reminds me of my brother. My ex kind of reminds me of my brother too. I want nieces and nephews so maybe I should get incestual and just make it happen. Meet my new lovechild:
I have been pondering lately about what I want in a partner. Black? White? Tall? Short? I had it narrowed down to "breathing" but then decided I'd even take a limp hot dog or a moldy taco.
I can fit 20.
Comments (81)
LOL!!! This made me laugh!
hahaha...
Nice!
Hahahaha made my day that much better!
The hot dog thing may be a talent that you can work to your advantage.
Women and wieners go good together.
hahaha
ewwww ryan but that's just me
I thought I was the only one wjo actually swallows her lip skin.
but you know it's better than peeling and then flicking it. that would look gross
Fellow lip devourers unite.
This was an interesting post.
*stunned speechless
, but in a good(?!?) way*
LOL I love you. <3 Ryan does look hot in those pictures. If he just wouldn't talk. Ever.
Hahaha. The girl with a mouth full of weiners actually looks like you!!
Also,I understand how you feel about Paul Ryan; I feel that way about dumb as dirt, hickabilly Sarah Palin. She's soooo fucking stupid and awful, but I would just love to aggressivly fuck some sense into her!!!
Nice post, fucker.
@amateurprose - lol..nailin sarah palin
Damn, you are horny today, aren't you?
@EmilyandAtticus - I feel the same way about every woman I have ever met. STFU bitch and get to doing.
Stay away from the moldy tacos. They can't be trusted ever. They lie and promise you beer, but they only give you gas. Really bad painful horrible smelly gas.
I'd do Paul Ryan too.
Haha I thought there was no fun in xanga any more. I was wrong.
I don't blame you for biting on those lips..
so hey were those hotdogs vegan? hot.
Since when did you get a Glock? dSLR... dick sucking lips, revamped?
You can do the Slimer
Lol this was great.
i'll get my strap-on....
Sick...
Paul Ryan who? I never even heard of the guy before reading this blog......... american politics don't really interest me. I say people should lift their standards.....I am alone but that's because I wont just fuck 99% of the bitches around. Prefer to fantasise about things that are fantasies BECAUSE I aint getting what I want! Better then delusional shit that warps my perspective about real people. But hey whatever rocks your boat hey? Get into him all you desperate peeps.
At least your 'feening for real people. I get hot over 2D cartoon or game characters....
Lol. You're awesome!
Paul Ryan's face scares me. I can't imagine him makin' sexi poses with it... I'd laugh.
You are hilarious
If AmateurProse asked for a blog, and that inspired this, well he surely can't complain. wow. this is quite the blog. I can't say I've read one like it before. It had all sorts of things going on.
haha. I just noticed that the baby has 3 arms! I've never seen that before... fricken' cool!
Your pretty face is too lovely to date anyone. No one is good enough for your sexy face.
Nothing like the good crispy lip skin. They don't know what they're missing.
I don't have a clue who that politician is but he's so sexy. I have narrowed down my dating criteria as anywhere between 'skeletal' and 'monstrous' ......with a pulse i guess.
Don't let a few bad experiences ruin your whole life.
--Yao Wentiao
@loneshadow_wolf - hehe...if people are perceptive they would of read in between the lines of what I commented and realise I'm with ya on that one....Not that I don't see 3d women as being far more appealing just not really a feasible option for me
lol how did the thong fall out of your pant leg?
rofl....you started my Friday with a good laugh.
Bwahaha this. was. awesome!
wow, so many wieners, that's a talent for sure
but personally, because i have the ability to serve only one at a time, i prefer a girl that don't have the talent to put more than one in
but that's just me, of course
Don't get suicidal on me.
I chew on my lips too >< It's such a bad habit.
interesting sense of humor
I'LL DATE YOU.
no fuck that.
I'LL MARRY YOU.
BIGAMY.
@amateurprose - LOL, so would I!
@prexskinny - There ya go, now you're talking. lol
This was hilarious girl, loved that part about Paul Ryan. . . GET IN THERE!!!!!!
Moldy Taco, that don't sound right, *checking* Nope, not moldy, definitely soggy. lol
Yummy lip skin.
I got that new Baby Lips stuff and it has helped with that problem.
Hahahahah lmaoaoaoaoaooaoao. You are one funny mofo. Too bad you're a Republican..
ps your banner is so hot, it makes me miss Big Mock
If I become a black rapping republican who's somehow related to you, will you go out with me?
LOL hahahaha I want those sausages in my mouth!
Idc what people say, Daniel Craig is way hotter!
@Lithium98 - You don't have to be black, the lo mein was all I needed. ROSA LIKEY
-giggles- This is too funny.
Never a dull moment.
@hizzoMYnizzo - How the heck did I not notice that?
I want you. Now!
@Manic_Butterflies - There is a chapstick made out of baby lips?!?!?! That is fucking great! Can I buy it online, or do I need to find a drug dealer and ask for it by some strange "street name"?
@amateurprose - No need, fresh baby=even better.
Maybelline has some weird ideas about naming their products.
@Manic_Butterflies - Awesome! I do love de-lipping me some fresh babies! Now instead of trowing them on the ground after iv'e ripped them off, I can put them to good use!! You're the smartest!
lol at the last pic
Hahaha this made me laugh out loud and everyone gave me weird looks !
I prefer breathing....as long as it isn't mouth-breathing :smiley:Have a good rest-of-the-weekend !!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo/
@ShimmerBodyCream - Then for my hiena, Rosa, it's lo mein for life!
Dear Nataly,
I hope to get a DSLR camera before I kick the bucket.I'd like to get a "partner" before I kick the bucket. Heck, maybe I'll even get to have sex one more time before I die.Ya never know.Good luck. Love those weiners. 20 eh?Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
@CanuckFascist - You are 100% correct.
@happyobligations - Haha, got mixed in during laundry day. :c
Tell you what, I'll come visit, we can go on a date, and I don't have the herps. We'll even go to a karaoke bar so people can hear you sing, and I can booze you up, er, I mean, get lucky, er, I mean...indulge in your...ability.
@SlackerSociety - I.. uhh... ooh hay there.
Quite a while back I read somewhere either online or in a magazine that there were women (Americans) who had inappropriate sexual fantasies about...Colonel Qadaffi????? hehehe well I guess his sperm count was high even if his elections were rigged...or were those erections....he's dead now & I understand that his fellow towelheads shoved a broom handle up his arse after they lynched him. That would be one stinky broom handle.
Fantasizing about a Republicscum seems nilla by comparison.
Some of them are unavailable. Check out the log cabin republicans' website sometime, specifically, their 15 member board of directors. Lesbian visibility has not reached the log cabin since 14 of them appear to be twinks, but male ones.
The lone blond dyke wore PEARLS. And was the "SECRETARY". Go figure.
so i said "its your friend from the dead" and you hung up on me. thanks a lot. I know when someone doesnt want to be my friend. @LKJSlain said "she probably thought you where the guy who beat her up" wow i have no friends on xanga. im gonna close my account next week. ive had it. this place is pathetic.
@Jeremy_Sheer - I was in the middle of tanning and I said that before I hung up.
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I know a guy who is definitely interested in any woman that can fit 20. Of course, he's the leader of a motorcycle club (he likes to call it a club feels "gang" sounds too oriental). He looks more like Gene Simmons than Paul Ryan but I can confirm that he breathes.
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