December 26, 2012
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So I almost got shot this Christmas...
My life is like a bad Jerry Springer episode. By bad I mean it is not the type of episode you'd find naked strippers and sexy midgets in. My life is the episode where there's vomit sex and fat, toothless people wrestling in a tub of cheeseburgers.
I've come to accept my lot in life as a participant in a perpetual side show, so I bring you this touching story of today's events:
Back Story: I decided to spend New Year's and Christmas with Anh because I wanted to strangle my family. Nothing unusual, but I needed a break from wanting to kick mi familia in the cara. (Spanish help provided by @lithium98. Translations as low as 5.99) He's usually pretty chill, waits on me hand and foot, and plays video games with me. Nothing really more I'd want in a hang out buddy.
Today: So we had been having a fairly good week of hanging out. We mostly sat around and played video games, I also made a dent in some of the books I downloaded. Everything was going a-okay until some unleashing OF PURE ANGER AND RAGE AND FURY AND HATRED AND ANGER AND ANGER FELL UPON MY SWEET, INNOCENT, BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, DELIGHTFUL SOUL.
But srsly, I didn't do shit. He just started fucking raving out of nowhere and I kept asking what was wrong.
SO THEN HE SO KINDLY REPAID MY CONCERN WITH A HOLSTER AND TWO PISTOLS.
Well oh shit, a fucking livid lunatic is going to shoot my ass. THIS IS IT GUIZ. I'm done fer. IT'S THE END OF ME!
Hello Newton, Conneticut children. I SHALL BECOME JUST ANOTHER AMONGST YOUR RANKS.
Because I'm a huge pussy My survival instincts kicked in and I ran down stairs away from the armed crazy. I proceeded to remove the door barricades (they live in a bad part of town.) so I could get out and maybe call the cops? Or maybe run. Or maybe get shot while I ran. FUCK I DON'T KNOW.
Anyway, so I finally removed the bar off the door and this his Mom put the bar back and trapped me back in.
WELL SONOFABITCH. I thought I was a goner until Anh eventually came out of his room and apologized profusely.
My Dad tried to encourage me to stay and go out and eat or something... IDK. Fuck that. I hate guns, I ain't getting shot! The kid owns AKs, think of how many pieces that would leave me in! D:
And that was my Christmas. I almost died. But kinda not, but kinda.
Also he gave me a 32GB Kindle Fire.
Almost got shot? Fuck it,
WORTH IT!
THE END. (but not of me!
SONOFABITCH)
Comments (89)
... Oh my god. *hugs* What a fucking psycho! Please don't get shot. You can't get shot. Nope, never. I hope you're okay.
<3
That's my ideal Christmas right there.
Thanks for not getting shot! If you had, you totally would have ruined Xmas for all of Xanga.
I've seen that episode of Jerry Springer. The secret the Chicago Bulls mascot has; he's actually a Lakers fan.
Also, that chick's a tranny.
Who is Anh? And I hope you stay far away from that lunatic! I'm glad you are safe, please stay safe. <3
I don't understand. Did he tell you wtf his deal was?
@wildchildofthebluemoon - Yeah, I'm wondering that as well!
Keep the shootings inside digital worlds please
AK's, gun waving psychos and door bars...this is not a 'bad part of town' this is a fucking warzone, invest in body armour or your own guns if you want to hang out there next time :/
So now you get to think about this story every time you use the kindle.
That is crazy. I'm glad you didn't get shot. WOW!
I'd find somewhere else to go next year.
Omg a Newtown cartoon. I didn't think it was possible, but you did it.
We need to put our rage and anger to good use and start the murder anger rage rage assassination krue who can't spell gud. Then we can kill people with or without reason and we would be the Kewliest 'cuz we would be women murder killerz and not men. The world would be happy and sad and confused.
oh and that more shots photos...fun memories except I was classy enough to only pass out on couches.
**hugs** fuck that guy, you so don't need that shit. raving manic ex's no es bueno! we should round them all up and put stick em on an island. with a man version of carfax reports, so when we date one, we know what kind of crazy bullshit they've done in the past.
At least Santa was generous. Maybe he's just trying to show you his gun collection.
Craziness :/
I don't even understand how this could happen. Why would he do that? who is this guy?
Maybe he shouldn't own guns until a few anger managment classes are complete. Guns being waved at you is fucking scary.
See, this is why you need to give me your password in case something happens to you, since we're two of a kind and shit. But seriously, I wouldn't hang out with him in private anymore, he sounds like he might have anger/drug issues. Kindle Fire is cool though, that was nice of him.
What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad you're okay!
Dafuq did I just read? Stay away from him, he sounds like he's batshit psycho.
our guns are in a locked cabinet unloaded...and the shells are in another place locked up so goodness if something happened we would have to find the keys unlock 2 different cabinets in two different rooms my then the bad guys would have all ready done got us...Please stay away from that guy he sounds like he has some problems and should not be a gun owner...please stay safe
Woah
What? I think this guys gun went off and shot some holes in this story. Please provide more information.
Goodness, all is well that ends well I suppose, though I can never really tell when you're being serious.
What are we going to do with you Shimmer? This has got to stop!
watway into did I leave out? He got mad and got his pistols out for no reason and I thought I was a goner but here I am on my Ki@amateurprose - @amateurprose - kindle
Who IS this thug? Did he ever say what sparked the confrontation? How great is the kindle fire? So many unanswerd questions!
the republican, right? HOW MANY TIMES DO I... 32Gigs, you say?
my ex.he never said. fuckin awesome except autocorrect
@amateurprose - above
what the actual fuck?
Glad you're safe!
Is this the same ex that gave you all those bruises and shit a while back? Geez girl. I'd keep my distance or something.
Glad you're okay.
@BohemianLotus - no, different one. lol
NO!!!! No tiene pistolas en su casa!? WTH!?
a su saludos! * levante tasa*
Time to stay away from THAT person. Got me speaking off-beat Spanish!
I'm thinking you move to Tx & I find you a guy.....bc seriously my lovely you suck at match making yourself. So glad you are ok....
...that is beyond scary...please never visit him again!..
Someone was trying to avoid a DV-A w/ DW charge...sounds like a sharty life.
@nerdyveggiegirl - Amen to that!
Sounds like a couple of my Christmases back in Detroit.
ah...Christmas
Yeh, your dad says that
but when he was 19, he did a tranny
YIKES! I'm glad you didn't get shot. And a Kindle? WOW! COOL!
I'm glad it was worth the Kindle Fire lol. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell for laughing at the those memes.
..... I love you
wow
Well that is fucked up. Glad you're still with us girl.
THUG LIFE!
Haha. No but glad you're still in one piece. I'd definitely be careful around that friend of yours from now on though (no shit). Good to hear you got something good out of it too XD
Its really pretty simple...their calling themselves "True Religion" and charging the poor,innocent, and his Dad...and even this kid is not "innocent" or poor...they are still being ripped off... purchase in places where in a coupleof months they will be ableto buy the same pair...in less than 6 months for 10$ or less and the holes in those jeans will be real ones and not prefabricated holes I have seen in some of these jeans that are $300. And jeans with the holes (no extra charge involved) in "real" churches and they were being sold to people who will never see $300 in their whole life. And the difference is $ 290 and I think that is self explanatory. Especially if the $300 is not of his own making. You will get your $10 worth out a homeless shelter or a Salvation Army. But you are not going to get your $300 worth out of a high end clothing store because of them probably paid only about $50 for it themselves and some ccompany themselves "True Religion" and using religion to justify their rather hefty profits sound like "money changing" to me since these same peoiple would charge Jesus three hundred doors for the same jeans and The Lord was not only homeless but also penniless and di not have enough clothes to wear nothing but a robe that was wrapped around his ass most of the time. Henceforth...they are money changers...because the money is not making to the streets....I have never been in a megachurch...if the church is involved in this...but somehow I really doubt if these people are charging an absurdly high price for jeans for "altruistic reasons" and their misleading you young ones through false adverising unless old timers know...better we lost our naivete along time ago and we can remeber when one pair of jeans that would last you a least the customer a lifetime cost us about 5$ to $10,,,not $300 for a pair of jeans that will last you for about three months if that...He is more worried about loooking "cool" and "hip" in front of his friends then he is about the financially that whipping the old credit will do to you for the rest of his life....I don't know Many teenagaers who are "financially conscious" maybe in you do...I don't know...Most teenagers can't afford the $300 these "money changers" are charging even though these "moneychangers" are selling for the same price in neighbors where most people your and even can't afford. That is called "moneychanging" and "money changers" even 2000 had no morals...and that is why Jesus threw them out of the church. And would do the same thing to these people...if The Lord was alive. The prices are disgusting what they are charging for their lousy jeans....and it is not to far down the raod...if you decide to have children and have to foot the bill for their clothing that you will be saying the same thing. You don't realize it yet but you will in a few short years and if you decide to have children and have not hit the lottery by then. I will be rigt here if I am still alive to tell you "I told you so"...But you did not listen" which are the words that come 90% of adult mouths were their children start complaining about what it cost to fed and clothe their grandchildren and "moneychangers" will never and have not throughout all of history because it will cut into their profits and result in layoffs. They charge you young people so much so that they can "save" no pun intended their own asses which is not "True Religion" "True Religion" is about serving others. NOt ripping them off. I am finally done...sorry about the long comment.... But phonies like these people who are selling this over priced clothing and using a name like "True Religion" to justify it are phonies in my opinion and in the opinions of most of the churches which are in poor neighborhoods where I see this being done....every day...and don't pull blinders over your eyes because they are ripping off children who have rich parents too and they are ripping off your parents and you children who are working already....because there are much better quality jeans and usually for a cheaper price in other places...Casual Male being one of them. I am done. Good night. Sorry about the typos and the bad spelling...grammar was never my thing when I don't have a dictionary available.
@Tallman - True Religion is just a popular brand. It's not a religious brand.
OMG, how did I miss this?
I thought you were into girls, how did you end up with this Psycho guy?
I think you should take @krisol0gy offer and move to TX. lol
Seriously sounds like my life.
I am pretty mad at you. Blog dammit!!
Yeah, I didn't quite get the sequence of events, either.
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