November 15, 2011
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5 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!
I'm doing @Shining_Garnet 's Positivity Challenge
These are the things I love about myself.
1) My vagina is tight. I haven’t popped out kids, haven’t been dicked in a gang bang by some well hung black men, and basically the biggest thing I’ve ever had up my cooter box was a pair of tweezers and vegetable crisper items. (Squash aren’t that big, STFU, don’t judge me, cunt)
2) I’m a future millionaire. @AffinityinUnderstanding and I are going to make a lesbian sex tape. Her tits alone will generate millions and faps everywhere. My belly dance gyrations and butt mole will generate another mill.
3) I have the natural talent of pissing people off. You should never take me to a bar unless you’re over 6foot, 200lbs. Got a button? I’ll push it. Yeah, that pink button too, slut.
4) I’m cuddly. YEAH I FUCKIN SAID IT. Wanna cuddle with me? I’ll massage you in oils, we can wear footie pajamas, watch movies. You down?
5) I have an oral fixation. I try to put everything in my mouth. I’m like a suckerfish on crack. I hate spit though, choose something else with a different bodily fluid.
I hope @simbathe2nd liked my title exclamations.
Comments (100)
A SEX TAPE ON MY COUCH. I'm going to be getting requests to sign it and shit.
Damn right we will. =]] You should visit me. Just sayin. I have free candy.
And boobs!
@chicbananas - HEY, GET BACK TO YOUR TRIPOD AND CAMERA, KET AND I HAVE WORK TO DO
@AffinityInUnderstanding - Poprocks? ; D Wait, does that work on women? I don't want to accidentally pop anything off...
@buddly47 - BOOBIESSSSSSS (o)(o)
Hi, I'm here for the lesbian tape.
What @roadlesstaken said.
=|~
@ShimmerBodyCream - Well I mean we could always just find out.... =D
Another thing you can love about yourself is mental health. You exude mental health -- from every orifice.
haha... can't wait to see the vid. =D
Tweezers, huh?
I guess there is no argument on the lesbian sex tape.
You. are. hilarious. hahaha! Your post has to be the best one on xanga!
drugs.......are......AWESOME!
Veggies as a sex toy, eh?
I'm wanting to see the lesbian sex tape as well.
I am over those requirements so the bar sounds fun but not as fun as a lesbian sex tape
Hooray for vaginas that aren't loose like wizards' sleeves.
GOOD ONES!
I LOVE your sense of humor and the comments you leave here and there and everywhere on Xanga!
HUGS!
PS...I've been thrown out of produce departments of grocery stores for handlin' the produce.
That's quite a list. Many things to be proud of.
@Cestovatelka - Ha! Your comment made me snort-laugh!
@AdamsWomanFell - Another successful snort-laugh-worthy joke for me!
Glad to be of service 
U one crazy ass chic. Lmmfao!
Speaking of tight vaginas I just got a random thought, I once saw a porno where the chic must have had a hole the size of a dime. It was kinda freaky. Ahem! Back on to your list. Cuddly is good. I am also very cuddly, it kind of gets on peoples nerves.
Just saying the words "oral fixation" conjures all kinds of images. lol Hmm.... I wonder if there's a certification for vaginal tightness, or perhaps it would be better to learn how one applies to be a Vaginal Tightness Inspector?
You had me at cuddly :'(
OMG yes so tight
Hahah wow I'm gonna be a distributor of the video ROFL xD
LOL great list.
LOL ::cuddles::
!
LOL this was amazing!
@Cayllesth - OMG. A dime?
That's okay. There are pencil dicks out there....
That is a *completely* different list from the one I was formulating for myself.
Well, this is a unique list lol
I'm 6'3" and 170 pounds. Close enough?
@AffinityInUnderstanding - or better have her call you....i jsut talked to her for two and half hours saturday where best friends
#6 excellent friend would pay $1,000.000 for a strip tease on friendship
This is an awesome list. lmao! Umm... where can i purchase this video at?
@opticalnoise - It was really odd because the guy wasn't small. I wonder how that didn't hurt her. It was an x-art video. Guess some people are built differently...
@Cayllesth - LINK. For medical purposes only.
@Cayllesth - well...I mean the vagina expands to let things in... just saying.
THE MORE YOU KNOW
@ShimmerBodyCream - hhmm, Let's see. Here's the redtube version. I found the full one through bad jojo.com But can't find that one. You know... for medicine http://www.redtube.com/49566
@opticalnoise - Ah! is that what you meant. Yes it does, though I have heard horror stories about tearing
You can't see it until around the very end when they close up on her.
Let me know when the tape comes out.
Brilliant! xx
@jennylovve - i agree with you. This is the best post.
I did not know we were SO MUCH alike! I have an oral fixation myself and never had kids and wasn't gang banged....
I can find any button to push too,but i don't unless i am pushed into a corner,it is fun to have that gift isn't it?
although I have no get rich quick plans, I need another idea...no one is gonna pay to see me nekky, they might pay not to see me.....
Reading someones else 5 things are so miserable for me. Reading yours... 5 ain't enough.
You do sound cuddly. Makes me wish pears had arms! We're not natural cuddlers, ourselves.
This is the best post on this subject I've read.
@TheMushyPear - You can't wear footie pajamas either. That's okay, I shall cuddle you in my gastric juices.
It is a scientific fact that tight giners are inherited, even after popping as many as two kids. Just sayin'..
i like #3
TEACH ME
Is there lesbian footlicking in the video?? ??
haha i had a good laugh reading this, you're funny
ps: isn't it dangerous to put in tweezers
?
Porn has the potential to make everybody super famous. Not me, though. I have the body of a wounded hippopotamus.
o_o I. Love. You.
I hate spit too. BLEGH.
You are wonderful, lol.
Well, I'm just under 6' but I'm a good defender so I think I'll do. Just let me know whenever you want to go bar hopping.
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