October 30, 2011
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If you know someone with cancer
I’m sorry. It’s a very sad situation. But it does get better. If they die, here are things you can do with their dead body.
1) stuff their dead body and use them as a doodle bear. “MOMMY, I WROTE THE GROCERY LIST ON GRAMPY’S HEAD!” For those of you unfamiliar with doodle bears, a bald head will work as a shiny dry erase board.
2) Human pinata time! Lay their carcass in the sun to dry out. Debone the body and stuff with candy. This is a good strategy if you still have pent up resentment if they touched you inappropriately, etc. since you can beat the candy out of them… But make sure candy is really coming out. If the carcass isn’t properly cleaned you might get the wrong kind of tootsie roll.
3) A Halloween costume. Did your Uncle come back to life? Nope, that’s just you, creeper! Bonus points for haunting loved ones.
4) Go to China, sell the organs of the body and go on a tropical cruise.
5) Have human veal dinner for a week.
6) Use the dead body to display your work if you own a tattoo parlor or art gallery.
7) Paint its nails. Give it a makeover.
8) If its your wife, you can finally give it bigger boobs. Bonus points for turning her jugs into real ones filled with beer.
Add yours.
Comments (11)
Hmm. Nice. I’ll have to try that sometime.
Oooo you gonna get shitz from the big bad xanga mobile of happy people….
This post= brilliance!
And thanks for your comment on my last post, ages ago. I really do need to log into Xanga more frequently, and it was really cool to see what you had to say, the last time I did! ^^
I don’t like cancer. I think cancer is bad. I am opposed to bad things.
Mmm, human veal…
Gotta say, kiddo, this one is really pretty sick…..no props, sorry
Cancer is srs bzns cuz.
Yeah cancer sucks, lost two uncles to it. It’s a major butthead. Sorry about your dad. =(
Thanks, it’s alright, they didn’t want to be here anymore anyway, so hopefully they’re happy where they are now, at least they’re not hurting anymore.
owow
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