November 3, 2009
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Awkward Doctor Visit
Hi. Today I went to the doctor. It was just a recheck to make sure I haven't become a Vicodin junkie trying to free base it from my kitchen table.
I thought this was going to be a pretty basic doctor visit... wrong.
The first thing the nurse took me to do was to check my weight. When I went to the doctors 2 months ago I was really fat compared to what I usually am. My BMI was almost at a 22 and that's kind of high for me. I just broke up with my ex so I thought eating bon bons all day and touching myself was a good idea... not so much.
The nurse commented, "You lost a lot of weight." /EVIL GLARE.
Awwwkward. I'm not even skinny but it still made me want to cover up my collarbone and pee in a corner. Traumatizing.
Then, Mr. Doctor comes in. The topic of the conversation ends up turning to my crotch. Every time the Doctors ask if you are sexually active I want to say, "No, bitch, do I look like a slut? You're not stretchin my shit out so you can make some $$$!"
I'm too nice though. Lame.
Comments (21)
Well that sexually non-activeness tends to be a problem in my book...
@Dustin_wind - sexually activate yourself with menthol. tingggly
@ShimmerBodyCream - heh i get more tingles from pussy. wanna join?
@Dustin_wind - oh no poor kitty.
@ShimmerBodyCream - just insert into hole...
@Dustin_wind - what if its a donut hole. That would be tricky
@ShimmerBodyCream - that doesnt qualify as an entry point on a girl's body, although i'd love to eat a donut hole right now..
@Dustin_wind - me too
but we don't have donut holes 
http://serres-donuts.com/images/cinammon-donut-hole_jpg.jpg
yeaaaaaaa definately dont like that "are you sexually active" question...kinda like..HEY HOW MANY GIRLS U BANGING??..like damn doc dont ask me that...
@ShimmerBodyCream - WHATTT NO DONUT HOLES????
Somehow my topic of conversation always turns to a woman's crotch. Weird.
@Dare2BDiferentt - Sexy: Hey woman can I stick my dick in your crotch. Awkward: Hey dirty can I check your crotch for warts.
@BlizzZX - Next time give them a smaller number like 500.
Crazy doctor vist!
I hate it when doctors ask that, especially if they're male. They always ask my mom to leave, but they don't know that I'd actually be more comfortable telling her!
@ice_droplets - ooh you make a great point.
@kidzsister1 - totally was.
When i know im going to the doctor I use girly smelling soap and refrain from sex/masturbating for at least 2-3 weeks....
that way im more likely to get wood and im flowery fresh too. if its going to be awkward its going to be on MY terms.
nothing like looking into a nurse/doctors eyes while you've got a throbber. male or female its all hilarious.
@erahslover - HAHAHA
@erahslover - if you can not masturbate for 2 weeks you are a demi god
Eat, eat, you're too thin!