September 8, 2012

  • RIP Grandpa (view only)

    In my Grandpa's memory I am going to post 2 amusing stories.

     

    Gpa and Mom

    Story 1: When I was 15 I was running around my grandparents hotel room in a whip cream bikini. My Grandpa then slapped my ass. Gee, that was awkward. The night ended by my friend and me boy hunting while then finishing off a bag of hot sauced pig skins... shit what do you call those things? Ive been vegetarian too damn long... THE FRIED PIG SKIN THINGS? Oh, pork rinds. Those.

    Story 2: When I was about 9ish I got really sick. I couldn't hold anything down and my Dad and Mom told me not to eat. My brother gave me some strawberries and I asked if my Dad said it was okay that I ate them. My brother said my Dad said it was fine. (Little did my bro know I was sick.) So I ate them.

    Oh man I felt like shit.
    I then proceeded to puke up all the fucking strawberries I ate in my Grandpa's front yard. The bastard laughed at me the whole time I was upchucking that shitty fruit.

    AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR LAUGHING AT ME MOTHER FUCKER.

    RIP Grandpa.

     

    9/22/1930 - 9/8/2012.

     

    BTW I think I'm pretty good at this eulogy/tribute shit. If you ever need one or something I charge 5 bucks.