Thursday, 25 October 2012
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I can't date
Ok, @amateurprose asked for a blog so here I go.
So I was at the post office and I saw this cute guy staring at me. My thong fell out of my pants leg. I thought maybe he would think I was easy and at least ask me out, BUT NO. Anyway so I was going to flirt with this other cute guy but I have this horrible habit of eating my lip skin. No, not chewing on my lips, EATING THEM. Anyway it looked like I had the herps so I didn't bother.
bitch, wipe your bloody nose off and stop eating your goddamn lips
Instead I'm just happily masturbating to Lloyd videos.
Also I got my first dSLR. It's the Canon EOS Rebel T2i 550d. To say I am excited is an understatement.
Anyway I am gradually working my way up to dating. Or maybe I'll just go on a raping spree. I know rape jokes aren't funny but I just don't feel like a true Republican unless I offend rape victims and demonize women.
And admittedly, I do not like Paul Ryan. His politics anyway... but I cannot keep my panties dry for this man. I don't know why, but he touches me in special, special places. I thought Mitt could have chosen a better pick for VP... but oh my... he makes my vagina so happy. Paul, you are one Republican I DO want in my reproductive organs. GET IN THERE!!!!!!
He kind of reminds me of my brother. My ex kind of reminds me of my brother too. I want nieces and nephews so maybe I should get incestual and just make it happen. Meet my new lovechild:
I have been pondering lately about what I want in a partner. Black? White? Tall? Short? I had it narrowed down to "breathing" but then decided I'd even take a limp hot dog or a moldy taco.
I can fit 20.
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Comments (71)
LOL!!! This made me laugh!
hahaha...
Nice!
Hahahaha made my day that much better!
The hot dog thing may be a talent that you can work to your advantage.
Women and wieners go good together.
hahaha
ewwww ryan but that's just me
I thought I was the only one wjo actually swallows her lip skin.
but you know it's better than peeling and then flicking it. that would look gross
Fellow lip devourers unite.
This was an interesting post. :)
*stunned speechless
, but in a good(?!?) way*
LOL I love you. <3 Ryan does look hot in those pictures. If he just wouldn't talk. Ever. :)
Haha I thought there was no fun in xanga any more. I was wrong.
@amateurprose - lol..nailin sarah palin
Damn, you are horny today, aren't you?
@EmilyandAtticus - I feel the same way about every woman I have ever met. STFU bitch and get to doing.
Stay away from the moldy tacos. They can't be trusted ever. They lie and promise you beer, but they only give you gas. Really bad painful horrible smelly gas.
I'd do Paul Ryan too.
I don't blame you for biting on those lips..
so hey were those hotdogs vegan? hot.
Since when did you get a Glock? dSLR... dick sucking lips, revamped?
You can do the Slimer
Lol this was great.
i'll get my strap-on....
Sick...
Paul Ryan who? I never even heard of the guy before reading this blog......... american politics don't really interest me. I say people should lift their standards.....I am alone but that's because I wont just fuck 99% of the bitches around. Prefer to fantasise about things that are fantasies BECAUSE I aint getting what I want! Better then delusional shit that warps my perspective about real people. But hey whatever rocks your boat hey? Get into him all you desperate peeps.
At least your 'feening for real people. I get hot over 2D cartoon or game characters....
Lol. You're awesome!