Thursday, 25 October 2012
Ok, @amateurprose asked for a blog so here I go.
So I was at the post office and I saw this cute guy staring at me. My thong fell out of my pants leg. I thought maybe he would think I was easy and at least ask me out, BUT NO. Anyway so I was going to flirt with this other cute guy but I have this horrible habit of eating my lip skin. No, not chewing on my lips, EATING THEM. Anyway it looked like I had the herps so I didn't bother.
bitch, wipe your bloody nose off and stop eating your goddamn lips
Instead I'm just happily masturbating to Lloyd videos.
Also I got my first dSLR. It's the Canon EOS Rebel T2i 550d. To say I am excited is an understatement.
Anyway I am gradually working my way up to dating. Or maybe I'll just go on a raping spree. I know rape jokes aren't funny but I just don't feel like a true Republican unless I offend rape victims and demonize women.
And admittedly, I do not like Paul Ryan. His politics anyway... but I cannot keep my panties dry for this man. I don't know why, but he touches me in special, special places. I thought Mitt could have chosen a better pick for VP... but oh my... he makes my vagina so happy. Paul, you are one Republican I DO want in my reproductive organs. GET IN THERE!!!!!!
He kind of reminds me of my brother. My ex kind of reminds me of my brother too. I want nieces and nephews so maybe I should get incestual and just make it happen. Meet my new lovechild:
I have been pondering lately about what I want in a partner. Black? White? Tall? Short? I had it narrowed down to "breathing" but then decided I'd even take a limp hot dog or a moldy taco.
I can fit 20.